I am downtown Lodge Grass, Montana getting honey fresh from the hive!
Walking into the Apiary my buddy owns, I notice that cops are swarming a trailer (no pun intended). So, I yell inside and rally the guys to take a look. We all pile out like a buncha idiots on Jerry Springer and cops all over –
One cops walks past and asks “what is this”
Crow Native dude says “huh?”
The cops points to the building – “What is this?”
Crow Native dude says ” Lodge Grass Apiary”
Cop – “huh?” –
Crow – “LG Apiary” really slow…
Cop – “what?” (as in are you messing with me) and we all realize someone was absent from school the week APIARY was on the spelling list!
Crow – “Apiary, bees, honey….”
Cop – “oh, you work there”
Bees buzzing and I am holding 36lbs of local honey laughing…
I guess there was another shooting in downtown Lodge Grass – cops everywhere – and I drove home!
Thanks Claude Dawes for thinking to run up and lock down the school and safeguard our most precious resource!
So Mojo is barking at another dog as I get into the 1990 Dodge Power Wagon at the local IGA grocery store. Mojo’s hair is all up and he is barking hardcore – when this Indian lady with no teeth pops her head in my window. Okay she might have had one tooth, and she was gumming something in that cavern of a mouth that looked like a tooth – whew, just a sunflower seed. She said ” I have three dogs that could rip your dog apart if he is insulting me by barking at me”. Whoa, now here is a woman that takes her dogs serious. I smiled and tried to explain he was barking at a mangy old dog in the parking lot and it was all good.
She was jacked up and tweaking or drinking or both – pretty hard. She smiled her toothless smile and became all calm when she realized I was just a local stopping for junk food. We chatted for a bit and she kept reminding me of her three dogs at the trailer behind her mom’s house where she lives. She was very polite and asked me to come up to Lodge Grass Indian housing with her – I asked her about the young tweaker guy she was with – that mother fx%$#@ all thinks he is with me – but he ain’t even got a ride – I am gonna knock him out! Ahhhh, then I finally got it – she needed a ride and I was her john. I
always give people rides – from the guy who gave me $50 bucks (I did not take it) to give him a 1/4 mile ride up the hill to some pretty sketchy guys I made ride in the back despite the snow (they said “all cool bro – if we were you we would not let us in the cab either”.
The great people and great things that happen here in Lodge Grass where everyone waves and smiles and no one knows ur name! Now I know you Ms. Little Light…and again…yes, Crow Indians get all the cool names. (I wanna know where Mr. BigLight is)
Our Catholic Church “Our Lady of Loretto” is a wonderful active church that provides a multi-denominational outreach to the community of Lodge Grass. The local Baptist church is being torn down. Hypocrisy aside, I have observed the local Baptists using funds and labor for their own personal gain and the Catholic Church flourishes – go figure.
I take the trash down to the dump and find a Bible lying at the edge of the dumpster. I rescue the Bible and think back to when I was four years old and my Aunt Judy’s Sunday School Class. The chubby girl with short legs is sitting next to me and because her feet do not reach the floor she props her Bible under her feet! I remember the righteous indignation my Aunt Judy had when she saw the chubby girls feet on the Bible. I remember my aunt whipping that girl for defacing a Bible! It is the only time I ever saw my aunt angry and she likened it to Christ cleaning out the temple.
I was the naughty boy growing up. I was always in trouble. I think my teacher actually got tired of whipping me. But I knew that one did not mess around in church! The one time I messed around in church (throwing fudge balls in the sanctuary at Steve Smetters) a fudge ball went high and stuck just below the arm of the Cross of Christ. No one ever found out – but I felt extreme guilt for weeks as I entered the sanctuary and looked up to see the ever-present fudge ball. (Yes, we did make jokes about Christ not liking fudge.)
The Lodge Grass Dumpster Bible is now in the truck and will reside there as a reminder to honor the precepts found within…and an ever present reminder of fudge balls, forgiveness, and the peace of Christ.
I pull into the local IGA in my new 1990 Dodge 1ton Powerwagon! (The IGA functions as a social mecca for Lodge Grass because it is the only store – well aside from the Farmer’s Union which is a gas station with free coffee for the elderly and I refuse to submit)….
One old local drunk that hangs out panhandling in front of the IGA and whom I have never seen before – yells at me! I am thinking “great, she wants money and I am always such an easy target”. I walk over and say good-morning and she says “where is the Jeep?” I am thinking ya gotta be kidding me the local drunk knows me and my Jeep? She proceeds to tell me how sweet my Jeep was and how she looked forward to seeing it every day! I was stunned – I did not think anyone ever noticed me or my Jeep! I told her I sold it to a man in North Dakota and he gave me too much money! She laughed and said she liked my new wheels – “ya blend in now”. Mission Accomplished! This is what I love about Lodge Grass – everyone says hello and waves – small town Indian Rez life!
Tru Grit is the name of my 1990 Dodge Powerwagon! Oh, it says PowerRam on the side but I prefer the old title PowerWagon! I had one just like it a few years ago but I lost it through a misunderstanding. I love this old truck! Okay, I am Old Skool or as the local IGA cashier says “dang you are all vintage” which I took as a compliment (doubtful, since she is like 20). I found Tru Grit on Craigslist and talked the guy down and down and down…he threw in the big diamond plated bed box and I drove it home from Sheridan, WY. It has the venerable 360 in her and while I was toying with buying a diesel – I just could not justify the cost. I took the bed box out and now Tru Grit looks “Vintage”. So, if ya see me cruisin Lodge Grass, Sheridan or Kirby Saloon – wave or stop on in –
The only additions are a CB radio, and two stickers – one is “Support 81” and the other 2nd Amendment…so ya know I am locked and loaded and put a cowhide over the old worn out seat. I have been thinking bout getting a stereo…I probably look like a nerd cruising down the highway with headphones on…
3.67 million Prius automobiles have been built and sold as of March 2013! Over half were sold in the US! GREEN! This car is touted as so green that it makes hippies dance without a hit from their bong.
For some reason, I just do not like the Prius. I have never driven one, never ridden in one, but I have been passed by one! I guess it is the irony of driving a Prius fast. It has not happened just once it has happened many many times. I was driving my 1997 Ford F350 with a 7.3 liter diesel at 75 miles per hour headed to Billings, Montana and bam there goes a Prius at 85 miles per hour – I thought well they might be charging their batteries on a downhill! I look down at the odometer and see that it is about to turn 400,000. I wonder how many Prius are about to turn 400,000? I think of the batteries in the Prius and Each battery pack uses 10–15 kg (22–33 lb) of lanthanum, and each Prius electric motor contains 1 kg (2 lb) of neodymium; production of the car is described as “the biggest user of rare earths of any object in the world.”
Whoa – the biggest user times 3.67 million Prius built = huge environmental impact!
I pull into the parking lot here in Lodge Grass, Montana at the local IGA! I spot a hippie getting out of a Prius! I am driving my 1969 Jeep CJ5. I am thinking wow Earth Day and I am driving an eco-friendly vehicle! Her Prius has a bumper sticker “MiSOULa” I guess Missoula Montana has a soul..cute and “Who Would Jesus Bomb” well we all know the answer to that – Muslims! Oh wait… Anyway, the Jeep is lifted with 35″ tires and the original engine, tranny, and transfer case! Yes, it has new axles Dana 44‘s out of a 73 Ford Bronco (re-use materials makes me a hippie?)
Wow, 2013 Prius with cool bumper-stickers and my 44 year old Jeep! Which is more green? Well, I guess we have to find out in 40 years if the Prius is lifted and still on the road!
Happy Earth Day! and remember dream of Whirled Peas…peace out!