The Lodge Grass Dumpster Bible

Christ oriental - Our Lady of Lebanon Melkite ...
Christ oriental – Our Lady of Lebanon Melkite Church, Fortaleza Brazil (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our Catholic Church “Our Lady of Loretto” is a wonderful active church that provides a multi-denominational outreach to the community of Lodge Grass. The local Baptist church is being torn down. Hypocrisy aside, I have observed the local Baptists using funds and labor for their own personal gain and the Catholic Church flourishes – go figure.

I take the trash down to the dump and find a Bible lying at the edge of the dumpster. I rescue the Bible and think back to when I was four years old and my Aunt Judy’s Sunday School Class. The chubby girl with short legs is sitting next to me and because her feet do not reach the floor she props her Bible under her feet! I remember the righteous indignation my Aunt Judy had when she saw the chubby girls feet on the Bible. I remember my aunt whipping that girl for defacing a Bible! It is the only time I ever saw my aunt angry and she likened it to Christ cleaning out the temple.

I was the naughty boy growing up. I was always in trouble. I think my teacher actually got tired of whipping me. But I knew that one did not mess around in church! The one time I messed around in church (throwing fudge balls in the sanctuary at Steve Smetters) a fudge ball went high and stuck just below the arm of the Cross of Christ. No one ever found out – but I felt extreme guilt for weeks as I entered the sanctuary and looked up to see the ever-present fudge ball. (Yes, we did make jokes about Christ not liking fudge.)

The Lodge Grass Dumpster Bible is now in the truck and will reside there as a reminder to honor the precepts found within…and an ever present reminder of fudge balls, forgiveness, and the peace of Christ.

Lodge Grass Baptist Church
Lodge Grass Baptist Church

Chinese Chickens

I get all my news from Facebook – no really, I do. It is better than the mainstream media because it is colored by the opinions of the ones I love. Yesterday, it all started out with chickens.

My good friend posted the following and her sister asked for my humorous opinion –

Chickens (Photo credit: Allie’s.Dad)
USDA to Allow China to Process Chickens, Ship Back to U.S
by Charlotte Andersen for”Chinese chicken” will soon have a whole new meaning, as the U.S. Department of Agriculture recently gave the green-light to four chicken processing plants in China, allowing chicken raised and slaughtered in the U.S. to be exported to China for processing….
  • Sierra Littrell Wright I’m surprised Hoss Lors hasn’t spoken his mind yet?
    to which I replied…
  • Hoss Lors …. well – Gerty was at my front door this morning raising hell about this issue – she is our lead chicken spokesperson here on the ranch – while free-range – she is quite vocal when not fed her sweet feed and was pissed like hell that she could be shipped to China for processing. Her words were ” what do those slanty eyed flu lovin gooks know about chickens?” (yes, I know Gook is pejorative for a Korean – same difference)
    This conversation found its way to the dinner table and a whole diatribe on chickens!
    A cock and a hen roosting together.
    A cock and a hen roosting together. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    The ranch has two different sets of chickens! The Rhode Island Red and the white Leghorn. Gerty is a Rhode Island Red and is really really smart. I like to think of her as an entitlement chicken. She begs and begs for grain and then pecks at it for a moment and then forgets about the grain. The white Leghorn chickens come and finish everything left from the morning feed.

    Now here is the irony – the entitlement chickens are the “white caretakers” original chickens – like him they are given everything – free medical and $1000 in food stamps while paid under the table by the ranch owner and they are red (like we like to think of Indians since this is a reservation). The white chickens were given to the caretaker by a “red” Indian, John WhiteManRunsHim (yes, Crow Indians get all the cool names)  that has a good job as a counselor at a local school. The white chickens are industrious and clean up everything! I just love the spin on colors, racism, and perception!
    and now we are shipping more jobs to China –
    this is why I get all my news from Facebook…because one never knows where the mind might lead!